Murray Bowen spent decades studying what makes some people more emotionally grounded than others: less reactive, more secure, better at staying themselves under pressure. This scale is how he mapped it. Take the assessment below to find where you land.
For each statement below, choose how much it describes you. Be honest. There are no right or wrong answers, and the more accurate you are, the more useful your result will be.
0 of 12 answered
Your approximate score
out of 100
The full scale for reference
0–25Lowest differentiation
Can’t distinguish between fact and feeling
Emotionally needy and highly reactive to others
Much of life energy spent in winning the approval of others
Unable to see where they end and others begin
Do very poorly in transitions, crises, and life adjustments
25–50Most of self reflected from others
Self-esteem soars with compliments or is crushed by criticism
Often talk one set of principles, yet do another
Become anxious when a relationship system falls apart
Quick to imitate others to gain acceptance
50–75Thinking and feeling working as a team
Can state beliefs calmly without putting others down
Can be close to others without losing a sense of self
Able to cope with crises without falling apart
Function well, alone or with others
75–100Few people function at this level
Secure in who they are, unaffected by criticism or praise
Can listen without reacting, communicate without antagonizing
Able to maintain a non-anxious presence under stress
Takes full responsibility for their own life and direction
Want to move up the scale?
Even a few points of growth changes how you relate to yourself and the people around you. I’d be glad to walk through this with you.
